


say something

by ScarletKiss



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Bullying, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, M/M, Minor Blood and Gore, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Vomiting, but not really, i can't write summaries for my life, its subtle, the bullying is mainly implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:49:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27475303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarletKiss/pseuds/ScarletKiss
Summary: “My name's Jaemin Na, and I care just a little too much,”Jaemin is a hopeless romantic obsessed with the idea of soulmates, he lives in his head dreaming of the day he'll meet his and fall in love. Until one day Jaemin meets the mysterious October transfer Jeno Lee and he learns that soulmates aren't always so black and white.“A million words would not bring you back, I know because I tried, neither would a million tears I know because I tried.”
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33
Collections: Challenge #3 — soulmates





	say something

**Author's Note:**

> The theme song for this fic is All I want by Kodaline. It's literally all I listened to while writing this.
> 
> Soulmate marks are the first words you soulmate will ever say to you.

Jaemin lived in a world surrounded by soulmates, people you were destined to find whether it was platonic or romantic. He was a hopeless romantic dreaming of the day he might find the one. Life isn’t fair though, it takes and takes and rarely gives anything back in return. 

Jaemin was sixteen when he first found his soulmate Lee Jeno, the new October transfer.  
Jaemin first meets Jeno, when he’s sitting under the bleachers with bruised and bloody knuckles to match the vibrant bruise blooming next to his left eye. Jeno is eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a half-empty bottle of water resting on the ground next to him. Jaemin will remember this moment for the rest of his life. 

“Hi,” Jaemin said quietly, he waved awkwardly hopping around from foot to foot. Jeno looks up in surprise, a chunk of the sandwich half falling out of his mouth. He raised a hand in greeting, looking extremely confused. “My name's Jaemin Na, and I was wondering if this seat was taken,” Jaemin blurted out. The strange boy with the bruises shook his head, “No one’s sitting there” He muttered, casting his eyes to the ground. Jaemin nodded, sliding down next to him. 

“I’m assuming you're new here because I haven't seen you around before. This is my favorite spot in the whole school to eat lunch.” Jaemin said proudly, “Oh what's your name?”. The boy cast looked up, swallowing furiously in an attempt to get the pb&j down “Jeno Lee,” he whispered. Jaemin smiled softly, his arm prickled furiously, “Nice to meet you, Jeno Lee,” He offered out hand beaming up at Jeno. Jeno took his hand shyly, shaking it. 

That was the start of their friendship, Jeno was a joy to be around, Jaemin came to learn, he was funny and smart. He would listen to all of Jaemin’s stories and dreams with a smile on his face. It was nice to have someone who hung on to your every word and acted like everything you said was the most fascinating thing they had ever heard. No matter how hard Jaemin tried he couldn’t remain unaware of the fact, every time he saw Jeno he had fresh bruises blooming on his body. 

“Jeno” Jaemin started nervously, Jeno looked up from his pb&j sandwich towards Jaemin “What Nana?” Jeno asked curiously, he looked so innocent with his cheeks bulging like a chipmunk as he clutched the pb&j sandwich to his chest. Jaemin can feel his chest swell with emotion and all he can think at this moment is how he wants nothing more than to protect Jeno. “Nothing,” Jaemin forced out “I was just wondering about your soulmate?”. Jeno froze his hands dropping down, “Soulmates,” Jeno drawled the word out, “well damn Nana that’s out of the blue” Jeno snickered softly. “I can’t wait to meet mine, honestly I can’t wait to meet him” Jaemin confessed bashfully, his face turning pink. 

Jeno snorted derisively “How are you so sure that there's a he or that you’ll both fall in love?” Jeno asked scornfully. His pretty face had twisted up into something ugly. Jaemin slid back a hurt look spreading across his face, “Because I’m gay, and if he’s my soulmate that means were destined to fall in love.” Jaemin said petulantly. Jeno's face crumples slightly as he gazed off and into the empty soccer field “Not always Jaemin, not always” he sighed softly. “ We will,” Jaemin whispered softly “We have to.” 

Jeno turned to stare at Jaemin and an indistinguishable look on his face, “Well, what does it say?” Jeno asked with a long-suffering facial expression. 

“What?” Jaemin stared up at him confusedly. Jeno heaved a heavy sigh “If we're going to find them, then I need to know what your mark says”. 

Jaemin could feel a smile bursting onto his face, no matter how hard he tries he can’t seem to shove it down.

“Thank you, Thank you,” Jaemin flung himself onto Jeno peppering his face with kisses. 

“Eugh,” Jeno groaned, “Gross” he complained, shoving Jaemin off a small smile rested on his lips as he stared down at his sandwich. 

Jaemin rolled his eyes playfully, “It says” he paused for dramatic flair “Hey, dumbass the paints wet.” Jeno laughed loud in clear “Are you fucking serious,” he wheezed out “Please tell me you're joking,”. 

Jaemin shot him a deadpan look, “I’m dead serious,” he said sullenly “What does your mark say?”. Jaemin eyed Jeno with suspicion, oblivious to the dark look that fell across his face at the sound of the question. Jeno wordlessly rolled up his sleeve, baring the dark black ink towards Jaemin “My names Lee Minhyung. What’s yours?” is scrawled across his arm. Jaemin pouts even harder falling back against the metal bands of the bleachers. “Fuck you,” he grumbled ignoring Jeno’s rumbling laugh. 

It becomes routine for Jaemin and Jeno to eat lunch together under the bleachers, and every day Jeno shows up even more bruised and bloody than the next. Jaemin pretends that he doesn’t notice the way Jeno winces every time he moves or how some days Jeno won’t eat because it hurts too much. Jaemin pretends that everything is okay because he can’t bring himself to admit it. Jeno is mysterious, yet Jaemin feels like he knows him his entire life. They fit together perfectly like worn-out puzzle pieces. At least they did until one day. 

Jeno and Jaemin are eating lunch together like always, Jeno has his stupid pb&j sandwich (which he at least has the decency to eat on white bread), and Jaemin with his turkey and cheese sandwich. Jeno looked strangely pretty sitting under the bleachers, with his dark hair falling over his eyes, as he concentrates on his food. Jaemin leans over, “spsspsps” he hissed in Jeno’s ear. 

Jeno batted him away violently glaring at him. Jaemin fell back laughing as he stared up at Jeno. He was offly pretty, Jaemin thought to himself. Jeno stared back at him with wide eyes and his mouth slightly. 

His lips are soft and pink looking Jaemin can’t help but notice that as he leans in, his eyes flicker away from Jeno’s mouth and up to his eyes. Those dark and stormy eyes are like an ocean that is constantly sweeping Jaemin off of his feet. Jaemin raises a hand softly placing it on the side of Jeno’s face. As Jaemin leans up, Jeno leans down their lips meeting. The kiss is soft and warm, Jeno tastes like peanut butter and Jaemin finds that he doesn’t mind the taste. Jaemin shifts slightly twisting his body into a more comfortable position as he leans into the kiss. 

Jaemin breaks away his face red, “My soulmate,” he gasped, “I-I I’m sorry”. Jeno’s face was passive as he nodded, but his eyes, his eyes told a different story they looked broken almost empty. Jeno smiles, a forced and painful thing as he smiles, “I like you,” he whispered watching Jaemin from underneath his eyelashes. Jaemin froze the words prickling down his spine. He ignored them pretending as if he never heard anything because Jeno couldn’t love him, no he had a soulmate, he must be confused Jaemin thought wildly to himself. Jaemin shoots a quick glance at Jeno and regrets it almost instantly, he knows that Jeno knows he heard and it’s visible on his face, the hurt. 

Jeno gets up wordlessly, picking up his stuff and swinging his backpack up and onto a shoulder. Jaemin watched him go feeling strangely melancholy. 

It’s been three days since Jaemin last saw Jeno. 

Jaemin is wandering through the halls when the sounds of shouts draw him to the boy's bathroom. Jaemin’s house of cards comes crumbling down all around him. He stares wide-eyed at the scene before him, Jeno is splayed out on the floor with at least four or five boys beating down on him. Jaemin stands there in shock, staring at the scene before him. Jeno looks up, his eyes meeting Jaemin’s, blood was splattered all over his face, his nose shattered from the looks of it. The boys look up at Jaemin leering at him, “What do you want?” the gravelly voice snaps Jaemin out of his reverie. He shakes his head softly, before turning around to leave the bathroom. 

Jeno’s eyes bore into the back of his head like a knife. Jaemin keeps his head up straight and shoulders squared just like his mother always told him too. He waits until he’s reached the bleachers before he allows himself to break. 

He crumples to the floor sobbing his eyes out, haunted by the image of a broken and bloody Jeno. Jaemin lies there for the rest of lunch sobbing his eyes out into the dirt, promising himself that next time he sees Jeno he’ll apologize. 

Two weeks pass slowly, and Jaemin has yet to see Jeno, he doesn’t come to the bleachers anymore. Jaemin waits, he waits there every day practicing his apologies but Jeno never shows. 

It’s raining by the time Jaemin gets there, even underneath the bleachers he isn’t safe. Jaemin sighed peeking at his phone. It was almost time for class, he slid out from underneath the bleacher and began the trudge across the field to the school. Jaemin trudged through the halls of the school tracking mud and water everywhere. Jaemin passed by several of his classmates ignoring their pitying and questioning glances. 

“Stacy, did you hear about Heejin's lab partner?”

“No, what happened?”

Jaemin is barely paying attention to the conversations around him filtering them out as he continues his walk of shame down the hall. 

“He died.”

“Fuck. Are you for real? I had no clue what happened?”

“It's fine you didn’t know, Jeno was hit by a car.”

Jaemin freezes at the sound of the name, his blood turns cold. It can’t be Jeno, not his Jeno. Jaemin knows deep down, he can feel it in his gut that it is his Jeno. Jaemin drops his bag listening to it fall to the floor with a resounding thud. 

He can feel the stares of everyone. He runs, Jaemin runs and runs away from the hole burning in his chest away from reality. Jaemin flees, he runs for so long he loses himself. He stumbles through the woods that lie just beyond the school. 

Jaemin isn’t sure how he ended up here, but he does, he collapses to the ground panting furiously. His sides heaving furiously as he upends his lunch onto the muddy ground. Jaemin stares up at the grave marker. It juts out of the ground, standing tall. “Here lies Jeno Lee, beloved son, and brother, 2000-2016” Jaemin feels his breath leave his body. In a smaller script underneath is scrawled “A million words would not bring you back, I know because I tried, neither would a million tears I know because I tried.” Jaemin breaks in that moment all of his tears unshed, now falling freely down his face. 

“Jeno, why? What the fuck??” Jaemin screamed “I like you dumbass so fucking come back to me. Why didn’t we get to say goodbye? I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry. I should have done something, anything. Why did you leave me?” Jaemin’s voice breaks, he lies there next to the grave sobbing quietly.

“You brought out the best in me Jeno Lee, something I’m not sure I’ll ever see again. I was just too caught up in my idea of soulmates that I ended up hurting us both. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you. I’m sorry for a lot of things. Why did you have to leave me? It's been two years and I still don’t have the answer to that question. I’m graduating today and you should have been here with me to celebrate it. I miss you, I think I always will. I just want to say thank you, you were my first and last love. I’m sorry for all my rambling. It must be annoying” Jaemin falls silent “here”. He knelt laying a bouquet down on the gravestone. 

“Their purple lilacs and purple hyacinths, shit that’s a lot of purple-” Jaemin scratched his head sheepishly as he stared down “I hope you like them.”

Jaemin is in college now, he still carries the guilt of Jeno’s death with him he thinks he always will. Jaemin’s double majoring in chemistry and computer science, a heavy load but one he considers necessary. Jaemin’s waiting in his customary coffee shop, the one he always goes to, he’s minding his own business when he notices a new mural on the wall. He wanders over to inspect it some more, it reminds him of Jeno this mural. 

The mural is beautiful, it's a sunrise. The colors are beautifully blended with care, the pink and oranges blend seamlessly with hints of red streaking through it and at the bottom of the wall it reads “The sun will rise and we shall try again”. Jaemin reaches out a shaking hand to touch the wall, it feels as if Jeno is leaving him a message. 

A hand closes around Jaemin’s shoulder, Jaemin whirls around his hand closing around the wrist. A short, very pretty boy stands there with silver hair, “Hey dumbass, the paints wet” the boy snapped, he was dressed like a barista. Jaemin stared at him frozen in shock, “Do you mind letting go?” The boy huffed. Jaemin let go of his wrist quickly, the boy's sleeve had fallen revealing a semicolon tattoo on his wrist. Jaemin stared at him in confusion, his eyes flicking down to the name tag on his chest, Renjun it read. Jaemin’s eyes flicked up as he stared in shock at Renjun. 

“My names Jaemin Na, and I care just a little too much.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it to then end then congratulations I hoped you enjoyed it. Thank you to the mods of Little Wonder Fic Fest for hosting this. 
> 
> These quotes do not belong to me, i found them online so credit to who ever came up with them.  
> “A million words would not bring you back, I know because I tried, neither would a million tears I know because I tried.”  
> “The sun will rise and we shall try again”.
> 
> Fun fact if Jeno had survived Norenmin would have all gotten together.  
> The flowers meanings are purple hyacinths: I'm sorry/ asking for forgiveness and purple lilacs: first love


End file.
